Saturday, October 26, 2013
Final Workout with Kevin
Told Kevin that I just wanted to have fun and play our last workout. He let me try some stuff I had not tried before. Here is the video. Made him do it too so you could see what it is supposed to look like.
Kevin: The End of An Era
One of the reasons I started this blog was to have a place to talk about my struggles on this journey. Over the past year and a half, I have had many ups and downs. I think right now, I am more emotionally raw than I have ever been. Last week, I said goodbye to Kevin. He moved 650 miles away to take a job at a HUGE gym. It is a great opportunity for him, and I am very proud of him, and for him. He is going to be a superstar there, and touch so many lives. I wholeheartedly wish him the best, but it is killing me. A piece of my heart is being ripped out and going with him.
Man is a triune being (mind, body, and soul). To have real change, you have to touch all parts. By it's very nature, the client/trainer relationship is a deep one, if it is a good one. He has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly that is me. He has seen how day to day struggles affect me. He has heard (and countered) my self-talk. In a lot of ways, he has seen parts of me that I strive to keep hidden. He had to, in order to help me, in order to understand me. This is why trust is so key in the relationship. Kevin has become trainer, mentor, confidant, and counselor. He is the warrior that always had my back, protecting me from negative people that wanted to tear me down as I was trying to improve myself. Fighting for me even when I was my own worst enemy.
Relationships are funny. They say opposites attract, and there is a reason for it. If we were all the same, who would be strong where we are weak? Kevin and I are polar opposites in so many ways. He is very type A, driven, focused, proper, in a word "professional". I am so NOT. I am very random, relational, laid back. It was hard in the beginning, more so for him I think. He didn't know quite how to handle me. He would be all serious and focused on our workout, and I would do/say something totally off the wall. I could see the wheels in his head just start spinning as he tried to figure out how to respond. It always amused me when I caught him off balance like that. Occasionally, his professional face would slip. I would catch glimpses of the real Kevin. I always felt privileged when that would happen, because I could tell it was something not everyone got to see. Kevin and I have found "the unity of opposites". To paraphrase my friend Seth: "when people are so different, and work so hard to make it work, the relationship is so much stronger".
Now as I write this, there are tears in my eyes. Kevin has changed my life, and in a very real way, saved it. Yes, I have done the work. I have put the time in. But he believed in me before I believed in myself. He pushed me to go farther. He showed me that I am stronger than I think I am. He looked at me when I was at my worst, and said "you are worth more than this." Any success I have from this point on, is a direct result of the foundation he has laid. Yes, I will continue on. I will work with another trainer. I will reach the stars. But every burpee I do, every walking lunge, every medication I no longer take, is a direct result of what he has poured into me. I am forever changed.
Each day as I walk into the gym, I look at the parking lot and notice his car isn't there. The hole in my heart from the piece that went with him aches. I wonder if he thinks of me. I wonder if I was able to give him a fraction of what he gave me. As he builds his new life, will the memory of me fade? Will I become just another client he once had? I am richer because of him. Can he say the same of me? Only time will tell. Of all the things I have called him, the most important I leave for the last. I believe he is my friend, and I hope it is a friendship that will span both our lifetimes and any distance that is between us.
Man is a triune being (mind, body, and soul). To have real change, you have to touch all parts. By it's very nature, the client/trainer relationship is a deep one, if it is a good one. He has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly that is me. He has seen how day to day struggles affect me. He has heard (and countered) my self-talk. In a lot of ways, he has seen parts of me that I strive to keep hidden. He had to, in order to help me, in order to understand me. This is why trust is so key in the relationship. Kevin has become trainer, mentor, confidant, and counselor. He is the warrior that always had my back, protecting me from negative people that wanted to tear me down as I was trying to improve myself. Fighting for me even when I was my own worst enemy.
Relationships are funny. They say opposites attract, and there is a reason for it. If we were all the same, who would be strong where we are weak? Kevin and I are polar opposites in so many ways. He is very type A, driven, focused, proper, in a word "professional". I am so NOT. I am very random, relational, laid back. It was hard in the beginning, more so for him I think. He didn't know quite how to handle me. He would be all serious and focused on our workout, and I would do/say something totally off the wall. I could see the wheels in his head just start spinning as he tried to figure out how to respond. It always amused me when I caught him off balance like that. Occasionally, his professional face would slip. I would catch glimpses of the real Kevin. I always felt privileged when that would happen, because I could tell it was something not everyone got to see. Kevin and I have found "the unity of opposites". To paraphrase my friend Seth: "when people are so different, and work so hard to make it work, the relationship is so much stronger".
Now as I write this, there are tears in my eyes. Kevin has changed my life, and in a very real way, saved it. Yes, I have done the work. I have put the time in. But he believed in me before I believed in myself. He pushed me to go farther. He showed me that I am stronger than I think I am. He looked at me when I was at my worst, and said "you are worth more than this." Any success I have from this point on, is a direct result of the foundation he has laid. Yes, I will continue on. I will work with another trainer. I will reach the stars. But every burpee I do, every walking lunge, every medication I no longer take, is a direct result of what he has poured into me. I am forever changed.
Each day as I walk into the gym, I look at the parking lot and notice his car isn't there. The hole in my heart from the piece that went with him aches. I wonder if he thinks of me. I wonder if I was able to give him a fraction of what he gave me. As he builds his new life, will the memory of me fade? Will I become just another client he once had? I am richer because of him. Can he say the same of me? Only time will tell. Of all the things I have called him, the most important I leave for the last. I believe he is my friend, and I hope it is a friendship that will span both our lifetimes and any distance that is between us.
I know, I know.....
I have been such a bad blogger! I have had moments when I was so busy that I barely saw my husband followed by moments where there was just nothing new to post (you don't want a post that says, "yep, did RPM AGAIN!").
I think I am still in the plateau, tho thanks to my friend Warren, I am now calling it a mesa (seems more fun in a southwest kinda way). One weigh/measure I lose body fat, but gain weight, the next it is just the opposite. Never big changes, just enough to annoy me. As I am writing this, I am hopeful tho, due to my last results. I dropped 2.8 lbs in 1 week! Before the dreaded mesa, my lowest weight was 173.4. Due to fluctuation, I don't think I will declare the mesa broken until I hit 170, but 2.8 is the biggest change I have seen.
I mentioned that there are new faces at the gym. Since I posted last, all my "Original Five" have left. Steve left at the beginning of the year. I only see him from time to time when he comes to workout. I have written about Chance leaving. That was hard, but we stay in touch on a regular basis. Think he may just be stuck with me :) . Bria went on maternity leave with her second child, and isn't coming back except occasionally Then Blake turned in his 2 week notice so he could focus on going back to school. I was starting to feel the loss. Before Blake was officially gone, Kevin announced that he was moving away. It was almost more than I could handle. I will say more about Kevin in my next post. His leaving deserves more than just mentioning in passing. Needless to say, I'm currently feeling a little disconnected. The Five, laid the foundation for my success. They have laughed with me, cried with me, and encouraged me when I was down. There is no way I could have gotten here without them. New people will come into my life, but it will never be the same.
Speaking of new people, before he left, Kevin passed me off to a new trainer. It isn't a totally new face in my journey. I am now training with Andrew (AKA: The Evil Kid Next Door). Kevin was the only hybrid trainer who could do both pilates and Art of Strength. So I had to make a choice between pilates and Art of Strength. That decision in itself is enough to break my heart. I LOVE PILATES! I am naturally very flexible, and pilates stretches me. Pilates focuses on core strength, and that is one of my weaknesses. Art of Strength is more about functional strength. Lots of weights. I am also naturally strong, so that style of workout fits me well. I think it came down to trainers for me. As much as I enjoy talking trash about Andrew, I trust him to push me, in a way I don't know the other trainers would. I'm sure you will be hearing a lot about him, and I promise not to cuss here (it may take some editing on my part).
I think I am still in the plateau, tho thanks to my friend Warren, I am now calling it a mesa (seems more fun in a southwest kinda way). One weigh/measure I lose body fat, but gain weight, the next it is just the opposite. Never big changes, just enough to annoy me. As I am writing this, I am hopeful tho, due to my last results. I dropped 2.8 lbs in 1 week! Before the dreaded mesa, my lowest weight was 173.4. Due to fluctuation, I don't think I will declare the mesa broken until I hit 170, but 2.8 is the biggest change I have seen.
I mentioned that there are new faces at the gym. Since I posted last, all my "Original Five" have left. Steve left at the beginning of the year. I only see him from time to time when he comes to workout. I have written about Chance leaving. That was hard, but we stay in touch on a regular basis. Think he may just be stuck with me :) . Bria went on maternity leave with her second child, and isn't coming back except occasionally Then Blake turned in his 2 week notice so he could focus on going back to school. I was starting to feel the loss. Before Blake was officially gone, Kevin announced that he was moving away. It was almost more than I could handle. I will say more about Kevin in my next post. His leaving deserves more than just mentioning in passing. Needless to say, I'm currently feeling a little disconnected. The Five, laid the foundation for my success. They have laughed with me, cried with me, and encouraged me when I was down. There is no way I could have gotten here without them. New people will come into my life, but it will never be the same.
Speaking of new people, before he left, Kevin passed me off to a new trainer. It isn't a totally new face in my journey. I am now training with Andrew (AKA: The Evil Kid Next Door). Kevin was the only hybrid trainer who could do both pilates and Art of Strength. So I had to make a choice between pilates and Art of Strength. That decision in itself is enough to break my heart. I LOVE PILATES! I am naturally very flexible, and pilates stretches me. Pilates focuses on core strength, and that is one of my weaknesses. Art of Strength is more about functional strength. Lots of weights. I am also naturally strong, so that style of workout fits me well. I think it came down to trainers for me. As much as I enjoy talking trash about Andrew, I trust him to push me, in a way I don't know the other trainers would. I'm sure you will be hearing a lot about him, and I promise not to cuss here (it may take some editing on my part).
SO IT BEGINS.........
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